Ever had something go wrong? Hopefully, you answered yes. Not that I would wish anything to go wrong for anyone. There are some really important lessons from dealing with something not going in the right direction... How about having a series of things go wrong and it never seeming to get any better? At what point does the number of wrong things become utterly ridiculous? Now I don't want to come off as chauvinistic because I know that my problems aren't nearly as bad as some people. I merely want to explore the helpless feeling I get when these kinds of things happen.
Am I upset about all the stuff that is going on? Yeah, and I don't think I can really put it into words if someone asked me to describe how I felt. There has been so much going on in the last month to make anyone frustrated. It's one of those kinds of moments in life where there are so many things going wrong that you can't get away from it.
It's honestly in any direction I try to head in to get away from it. Home, work, friends. Most of the time when I run into these kinds of situations I tend to retreat. Most of the time I seek out multimedia or video games. Sometimes even working on a project that is unrelated to work helps. I feel like owning a house would give me even more things to unravel my stress on.
Because of the frustration and stress, I have found this somewhat comical. I have been using the gym to exert a lot of the negative energy. I have found that exercise is a great way to beat yourself up even more. Although, somehow you feel a lot better afterward. Anyways, I am going to the doctor tomorrow. I have been pushing myself a lot more at the gym and it would seem that I am exhibiting the symptoms of a hernia. If it is true and I do have a hernia... HA! I don't know how to react anymore. Having a hernia would affect future plans and this issue would persist for quite some time.
My hands are in the air. I feel like I am more a blade of grass in the wind. Getting knocked over and being blown to and fro depending on the direction the wind is blowing. I have minimal control over most of these issues and I think that is really one of the few times that feeling helpless is appropriate.
Maybe this is a twisted way of dealing with these kinds of circumstances, but I feel like trying to have a positive outlook on these kinds of situations is important. I'm not saying don't deal with whatever cards you have been dealt, but instead, don't let it consume you. It takes so much more energy to focus on things that are negative. It's probably one of the reasons I have a hard time holding grudges or being completely upset over something. It takes too much energy and brain power.
I already know that I will feel 10x worse if I focus all of my energy on everything that is going wrong. Letting myself get upset for extended periods of time because something happened feels useless. At what point does the amount of energy I spent thinking everything is wrong in the world, equal the amount of energy that I could have been spending being productive or helping someone else? That is something I can control.