There is something rather nostalgic about damp cool air at night. I really cant put my finger on it... The sound of refreshing rain water accompanied by white flashes that light up the sky as if someone has pointed a giant flashlight on the clouds for a brief moment followed by the stampede of growling electrons being set free.
For the last week or so there has been rainstorm after rainstorm, and last night was the only one that contained thunder and lightning late at night. It’s been rather pleasant as I have a window right next to my desk and I really like opening the shades to see outside with the clouds blocking the sun.
This week has been an interestingly long one. Things happening at work that could have ended badly for me, but didn't. Then we have the pending deadline that I feel like I am not getting any closer to accomplishing. Then we have my cat who has been rather destructive with his urine and feces. After all of that is done, I am here sitting thinking what’s next? The physical and psychological storms are done - for now at least - but I am definitely emotionally drained.
You don't realize how scary it is to think you may lose your job at any moment in time. Jobs are very fragile things. In my field particularly there are a lot of people that have lost their jobs just because data has been handled incorrectly. For me, I had programs on my computer that weren't there to be malicious, but was offensive to our IT team because of their nature. Things ended up working out but it definitely is a scary thought to think that I could have walked out of my boss’s office at that time with a box.
Throughout this post I have posted some music I have listened to a lot over the past week to try to settle my nerves. It isn't much and probably doesn't apply to the interests of many, but the low base and constant rhythm really helps me out. Its always-surprising how well music can change your state of mind.
It is also pretty important to take breaks every so often. What is pretty cool about the company I am working for is that the environment is comfortable. If you need to take a break, go and take a break. We have a pool table and a kitchen where others go to relax. Going and talking to others if they aren't busy is also a thing we do here. So getting away from the code wall is good and healthy. I tend to work for an hour or more and then take a 10-minute break. Sometimes I will read articles or check my phone and respond to friends.
When I am working hard and thinking a lot it feels like my head is under constant pressure. When I participate in these activities I can feel that pressure relieving itself. Strangely enough, I have also found that sometimes working on improving code that doesn't have anything to-do with the stuff I am currently working on also reduces this stress.
Speaking of working hard, I really like being able to completely zone out of the world. Many people have issues with controlling their thoughts and its almost like I have a super power of sorts. I can completely remove myself from the world and immerse myself in the code I am writing. I juggle variables and objects as I try to construct an object and pathways across my electronic counterpart. It’s always a great feeling of success that I get when I am able to create something that was in my head and put in on the computer. I cannot say that I have ever received the same kind of reward like I do when I program. Its stressful but the accomplished feeling you get is incomparable.
Well anyway, that is all I wanted to talk about today!
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